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Oct. 20th, 2006 @ 08:29 am
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FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKHURTHURTHURTPAINPAINFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKHow are we feeling today?:  devastated |
It's a tragedy in waiting
when something's on my mind
And it's hard enough for me to carry on
It's a tragedy in waiting when something's on my mind
And it's hard enough for me to carry on
Call it pleasure if you lie
But believe me when I say a busy mind will learn to change it all
It's not like I am asking for the world to fall apart
I know that it's eventually to come
Sometimes we might fall
Stand up taller
Someday we may graduate into a perfect state of mind
Have you ever left your suitcase open long after you land?
And you're scared to fold away all of your clothes
Destiny may wait, but the present day's at hand
They forgot to tell me how to end this show
Could it be that I'm the one who tied my hands behind my back?
I know that it is possible for now
Sometime we might fall
Stand up taller
Someday we may graduate into a perfect state of mind
I've got a mind to wonder which tragedy is following me
I've got a mind to wonder which tragedy is following me
I've got a mind that wonders off in search of something
And I'm gonna get there
Sometimes we might fall
Stand up taller
Someday we may fall away
Sometime we might crawl
Stand up taller
Someday we may graduate into a perfect state of mindHow are we feeling today?:  gloomy Background Noise: O.A.R. |
You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you realize you've been lied to? How everything knots up and you can't keep from doubling over? How the shock of realization renders you thoughtless and speechless? How it feels to realize that you accepted what was told to you because you were supposed to trust, feel protected by, the person that was lying straight to your face? Knowing, no, feeling that something was amiss.
Watch this:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5946593973848835726&q=9%2F11&hl=en
Video Google it: 9/11How are we feeling today?:  shocked |
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Tax me
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Aug. 18th, 2006 @ 01:50 pm
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My roommate recently told me that, in Califonria, they are trying to find ways to tax the mileage you use on your car.
Zieg Heil! to the New World Order.
Ef that!! I'll be dead before they start scanning my wrist barcode.
Freedom is a thing of the past ladies and gentleman. Cherish it while you can.How are we feeling today?:  blank Background Noise: O.A.R. - Program Director |
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Work
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Aug. 14th, 2006 @ 01:51 pm
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I've come to the realization that I can no longer complain about my job considering its been quite a while since I've gotten a full 80 hours on the paycheck. Yeah... we finished work on Friday sometime around 1230. The only reason I stayed around 'til a quarter after one was because I was milking the clock... basically. I was on the computer working on Continuing Education Credits 'tho. So if my manager happened to stick his head in our work area, I would've at least looked productive.
We've been done with patients today for about thirty minutes.
Blah, the boredom has set in... let's go home.How are we feeling today?:  bored Background Noise: sheryl crow - i shall believe |
I'm not dead, in case anyone was wondering.
I've been neglecting my friends as well as LJ. Some should realize its not because I don't like you, its just because that's how I am. I can only allocate enough energy for a few people at a time. Even 'tho I love having a ton of friends, I feel if I don't give a person all of my attention I'm being a bad person. Its very emotionally and energy draining.
I like my alone time as well.
And I understand that some of my friends are having a hard time in life right now and I feel like an asshole because I haven't been there to be supportive.
But... there is no but. I have been being selfish. Aren't I allowed to 'tho? Someone tell me the correct answer now so I can stop beating myself up. So that I know taking care of myself is allowed.
I'm sorry I can't be there, I have no real excuse/reason/exception. I just can't. I spend so much energy on making sure everyone is OK that I tend to neglect myself in the long run.
Can you forgive me? Can you be patient with me? Is that OK, or are you going to hate me for life and think that I am a horrible friend who can only support herself right now? I don't like it, it makes me anxious and uncomfortable. Like nothing I do is ever good enough. Will never be good enough for everyone who is pulling me in a million different directions.
Have I always done what I've wanted? I'd say no, but I think a few people would disagree with me. I don't want any responsibility right now, I just want to have fun and relax. I want to hang out with my "alcoholic friends" and shoot the shit and laugh my ass off at nothing. I want to go to the bars or to a house party to meet new people and not remember them afterwards. I want to smile and forget the real world for a couple of hours and not be asked, "Are you OK with what you've done?" "How are you feeling?" I don't want to be serious all the f-ing time!
See even as I re-read this, I go back and forth between what I want and what everyone else wants.
I can't deal with it.How are we feeling today?:  anxious |
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Trip
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Jul. 7th, 2006 @ 02:06 pm
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The annual tubing trip is coming up, a week away. Actually this time next week I will be knee deep in disposed beer cans, bras, and camping equipement.
Can we say +/- 200 drunk lesbians, water sports (well if you consider floating down a river a water sport), and camping? Yes... they do mix, and quite well I might add.
I can't wait.How are we feeling today?:  excited |
Thought everyone would enjoy this little bit of astrology:
Pick-up lines by the Signs
Aries
I'm on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?
Taurus
I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
Gemini
Do you have any overdue library books? 'Cause you've got the word "fine" written all over.
Cancer
Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the person I'm going to marry.
Leo
Is it hot in here, or is it just me?
Virgo
Baby, you must be a broom, 'cause you just swept me off my feet.
Libra
If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be walking through my garden forever.
Scorpio
Your place or mine?
Sagittarius
Hi, I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life. Can I interview you?
Capricorn
Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
Aquarius
You're hot. You must be the reason for global warming.
Pisces
Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside? |
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Loser
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Jun. 29th, 2006 @ 07:59 am
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Chalk another one up: Me-0, Failed relationships-3.
I must have done something bad in my previous lives to not be able to have a happy relationship in this one.
I guess I'm asking for too much.How are we feeling today?:  unhappy |
I'm apologizing for my recent behavior... to everyone. Even those of you who haven't felt the wrath. I'm sure that the trickle of bad energy flowing from me has reached all you in some way or another. Karma, its a bitch.
I've had this incredible urge to avoid all human contact that I can with the exception of the contact at work. Thankfully, this urge has recently vacated my premises. I've managed to alienate my gf and closest friends. (Ha! - almost typed closet). Yay me! <----*sarcasm*
Well, in any case, I have swept away all bad feelings and now continue to love everyone... almost everyone 'cos you can't really love everyone especially the annoying ones.
I'm sorry.
Happy Hump Day.How are we feeling today?:  complacent |
I have diarrhea of the mouth.
'Nuf said.How are we feeling today?: blank |
There are very few things in this world where I've regretted what I've done. Letting you go, pushing away is the biggest one. And I'm glad that we've seemed to finally have gotten past that. You were one of the most important people in my life and I'm glad to say that you are still going to be in it. Even 'tho it took us two years to get here. One of the hardest things I had to do was to keep on living knowing that you weren't a part of my life and I wasn't going to be a part of yours. I think I'm the happiest person right now because I can say that's not true anymore. I'm going to keep you as close as possible...
I may have done stupid things and I will still do stupid things, but I think I've done a lot of growing up these past years. I know I've changed a lot, for the better I hope. You've changed yourself. More calm, I think, in a good way you know? If I could have applied what I know now to my immature nature then, god only knows where we could have gone.
Thank you for being the person you are and the person you were. Keep shining the way you do 'cos you're unique and a rare find.How are we feeling today?:  grateful |
Seemed to stop my breath
My head on your chest
Waiting to cave in
From the bottom of my...
Hear your voice again
Could we dim the sun
And wonder where we've been
Maybe you and me
So kiss me like you did
My heart stopped beating
Such a softer sin...
(I'm melting, Im melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
Now
Never caught my breath
Every second I'm without you I'm a mess
Ever know each other
Trust these words are stones
Why cuts aren't healing
(why cuts aren't healing)
Learning how to love
I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
(Stay with me lay with me now)
You could stay and watch me fall
And of course I'll ask for help
Just stay with me now
We could take our heads off
stay in bed and just make love that's all
(stay in bed, just make love that's all)
Just stay with me now
I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me lay with me
(Stay with me, lay with me)
In your eyes
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes (I'm melting in your eyes)
In your eyes
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes |
I wanted to write a whole dissertation on the subject, but its not my place.
I'm just sadened by how things have been taken for granted.
How some words have been used and used and used until they don't carry the meaning they had once.
And we sit and fight for the right to be equal and yet spit in the faces of those who fight for it. Making it seem so petty.
How do you expect people to believe in it anymore? When fifty percent of hertersexual America is failing at it?
Maybe my standards are higher than I thought. Maybe I'm more old school.
Maybe I've said more than my piece...
Its not my place after all.
I'm just sadened. |
Why is that a lot of the most important conversations are had while intoxicated? Is it some sort of trick that is played on us? The groggy morning thought process where you think something happened last night that could transform your current relationship for the good or bad. For the most part, you have the feeling that it ended well or not. Generally, if the person is still sleeping next to you, you can assume everything is ok.
I remember everything that was said the only problem is knowing if the other party involved remembers. In this case, she does. But it seems to be a habit of ours to talk about issues while we've put back a few beers. Last night was chalk full of important information that must be retained for the health and happiness of our relationship.
There is one thing that I don't ever want to say while either of us are drunk. And it has almost slipped out numerous times when I was completely sober. We all know that our grip on our tongues is lessened quite considerably with alcohol on board. Me especially. All I ask for is that "moment" not to be drunken.
In any case, each time we talk like we did last night we get closer, more comfortable with each other. And its nice. And its slow, which is even better. And it feels so damn good.
And I want it to be right. I'm not going to say perfect because I don't want perfection. I want it to fit with a little extra room on each side for growing. You know? I want all the mistakes I've made in the past to be put to use.How are we feeling today?:  contemplative Background Noise: strong enough - sheryl crow |
My myspace is fixed.
I jump for joy.
I smile inside and outside.
I just hope they don't end up FINALLY deleting my account.
That would suck donkey ass.
Which is worse than donkey balls... BTW.
Drinks all around!How are we feeling today?: oh happy day |
MySpace is cool and everything... until you have an issue with your page. Then they suck... big donkey balls.
That are blue.
And hairy.
I've tried at least half a dozen times to have my profile deleted and it has to be the hardest process ever to be created.
No, I retract that. Getting them to respond to emails has to be the most difficult process ever. Once you've accomplished that, then you must jump through flaming hoola hoops, dive in a vat of tar and then run into a chicken coop in order to have them do anything about deleting your account.
This sucks. I wouldn't even bother with deleting my account if it wasn't screwing with everyone else's page. |
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Virus
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May. 8th, 2006 @ 02:40 pm
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My myspace is being extra bitchy... I think I may have some kind of virus 'cos it was fine until a couple weeks ago. And its screwing up the pages of the people that have me on their friends list.
Shitty.
Needless to say I'm not going to friend anyone that I don't know anymore. And I don't need to hear anyone saying, "what the hell are you doing friending people you don't know?" Well, I happen to click that little button that checks all the boxes and sometimes some people will be friended that I don't know.
Why haven't they contacted me yet?
Bitches.How are we feeling today?:  aggravated |
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Lunch
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Apr. 28th, 2006 @ 12:41 pm
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I'm eating black beans and cherry tomatoes for lunch.
I like beans.
Oh... and I'm in love with a stripper.
Not really, it just kinda popped in my head so I typed it.
Yeah...
*edit* I thought I had typed pooped for a minute there. Haha, it made me smile then made feel like an idiot.
I like random posts too.How are we feeling today?:  full Background Noise: train - meet vagina |
I think its official...
But it only becomes really official when the MySpace status has changed.How are we feeling today?: amused |
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